7 Attributes of the Modern Triathlete

 

1. Hates walking for longer than 10 minutes.

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Loves racing at max speed for 6 hours non-stop.

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2. Gets bored easily at social events

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Doesn’t get bored swimming 100 laps of the same pool in utter silence and breathlessness, studying tile patterns.

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3. Had zero self-discipline as a child.

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Now has militant devotion to a training schedule.

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4. Doesn’t care about fashion at work or social events.

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Does colour coordinate bathing suit, bike shorts, jersey, and shoes.

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5.ย Preaches clean eating and vegan dieting.

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And consumes 6 mostly plastic gels filled with 12 times the daily recommended amount of processed sugar.

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6. Spends inordinate amounts of time outside, appreciating nature.

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Then spends hours on the computer, analyzing Strava workouts.

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7. Plans multiple vacations forย “fun and relaxation.”

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Then spends the entire vacation ascending mountains on bicycles to test the body’s limits.

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2 Comments

  1. Oh so true ๐Ÿ˜‚

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is hilarious!! I laughed (and completely related) to every single one.

    Like

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